Monday, September 26, 2011

A Focus On Gratitude and Joy

I woke up yesterday got the boys breakfast and dressed for church. I then got myself dressed and it started.

Melt down city! Whoa. Jaiden would not keep his clothes on. I mean NONE. I got him dressed again and tried to direct him to the car for church. He fell to the floor, a dead weight. I couldn't pick him up.

I thought I'd go to the car and pretend I was leaving so that he would join me. I waited 5 minutes and he came clothes on.

I went inside to see papers all over the floor, his clothes, and food out of the fridge.

I cleaned it up quickly and went out to the car to tell the boys we wouldn't make it to church, and found my purse dumped in the car and he was pulling his brothers hair. Oh man.

He ran in the house and scattered the papers I had just cleaned up. I cried. I cleaned. I prayed.

Hours passed and I had cleaned up a jar of marbles thrown on the floor, a bowl of cereal thrown on the floor, 2 drinks...thrown on the floor.

The tv was locked, computer unplugged, all the doors locked, and I had rigged up a lock for the fridge. I hid bananas and a bowl of oranges and apples in the top of our closet. He had finally settled for wearing his swim trunks and sat for a few hours looking through magazines ripping out the inserts, while I sat reading to him.

2 Chronicles 20:17
You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, O Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you.

You see, I felt Him with me. The whole day through, like I was outside looking in. I never felt angry. I never yelled. I did feel disappointed, but never defeated. He was with me, and that's all I needed.

Deuteronomy 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

I felt joy, I felt happy. When Dan came home, I smiled and wrapped my arms around him. We talked, but I never complained or whined. This is different from before, and he took notice. If I had reacted in defeat and crying and complaining, that would break my husband's heart and make him feel helpless in his ability to protect me while he works. He knew God was with us and carried us through the day full of joy.

John 16:33 I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.

Romans 8:37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.

He loves us and is with us! So no matter what we go through, if we allow Him to go through it with us, our days will be blessed!

He is my joy. My true desire is to love and honor Him in all that I do.

My joy is overflowing.



Christina said...

Oh how I can relate to days like that! And oh how often I complain to my husband when he returns, though often I end up calling him before then. You're right, it creates a burden for our spouses when we complain. Thanks so much for this post!

Heather said...

Unbelievable. You are a light, Jeana. The word "allow" really is key, isn't it? We must ALLOW God to walk through it with us. You have come so far in this journey if that's the beautiful attitude you have after a day like that. I'm so humbled and amazed by what you go through. I'm even more amazed and inspired by your maturity. I'm sure there are days when you "lose it" but the fact that you can have a holy response like this... wow. Praise God!
Thank you for being real.

ohsoblessed said...

Stopping by from Ann's...

How frequently it feels like everything is out of control, but what perfect opportunities these are to daily rely on God, knowing that He is the only One who can sustain us. Thank you for your honesty and for allowing God to change your heart. I needed to hear this today! Thank you!

Amy Bowman said...

my word I loved this post. It SPOKE to me so deeply. Thank you for giving us a window of your life and the struggle. Thank you for showing us just how amazing our God is.
I am going to take what you said about sharing things with your husband without complaining and copy you. Major conviction when I read this..
I sure do love you. I am so glad we have met.

Tricia said...

Thank you for sharing such a beautiful experience and your thoughts. I too have been having some rough days, but sadly I cannot say I've handled them as gracefully as you have. Thank you for the inspiration.

Chef Penny said...

What a great post! It's all about perspective sometimes. When we chose to focus on HIm not us. I needed the exact verses in this post to encourage others. Thanks so much for posting!

Little Wife on the Prairie said...

Thanks for that. Just beautiful.


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