May is here! One of my favorite months of the year because of my birthday, Mother's Day, and we'll be celebrating our 9th Anniversary! I guess you could sum it up to a whole lot of spoiling for me *grin* but don't worry....I don't mind. haha
I'm not sure what exactly happened last month?! I wrote a post at the beginning of the month stating my 30 day plan with Jillian Michaels, and turned around and it's May 1. All that embarrassing stuff I didn't want to say, well, I pretty much have to now...
No, I did about 1/2 of the month. For some reason, my body senses exercise and decides to get sick. I'm NOT kidding. Every year I stay well through the winter (getting nice and plump while I'm at it). Then, when I finally get the motivation to workout, I get sick. This year was no different, except that right when I felt better and jumped back into my workouts, I got sick again. I have now had the worst cough I've ever had, along with no voice for over a week now. I sound like a frog.
I have decided though, I will not use that as an excuse. I will tell you, the days I did 30 day shred, I felt wonderful all day long! I lost 3 lbs, but still have a ways to go. So, I will continue to push through this month because, well I just have to. I refuse to enter the pool, lake, vacation without haven't worked my bottom...and tummy off! Or at least, made a habit of working out.
I have spent so much time with God. I am at a place in my life I've always dreamed of. God has faithfully brought me here. I remember doing a Beth Moore study years ago, and she said she had gone through her spiritual life like a yoyo. Never consistently with God. She longed for a consistent walk with Him. Then, she had the worst year of her life.
When I heard her say that, I wanted to pretend I had never heard her say that, because I just knew I was in the same boat. You see, she had some things in her life that needed dealt with, and God wanted her and Him to deal with them together. It took about a year for her to get out of the pit she was in, and start living a life of joy and freedom. A consistant life with God. Now, her life isn't perfect, but she has a relationship with her Creator that the had longed for.
As, I stated before, I wanted to pretend I never heard her say that. And I did for a while. I avoided "dealing" with anything as long as I could, but I still prayed for and longed for a closer relationship with God.
Well, guess what? Our God is such a faithful gentleman and honored my request for a closer relationship with Him, but just like any daddy, He helped me deal with and put away my past bit by bit. I have found why this is totally necessary. The inconsistency in my life WAS my past. My past thoughts, guilt, shame. I couldn't have such a divine romance with my King with my past still linguring over my head. After all, this was all about Him. Not me. Not my sins. Not my shame. And when those things brought me down and filled my mind, they pushed Him away.
I hate to say this, but all that dealing took me over a year. The worst time in my life. But worth it. Absolutely worth it. And He makes things turn out beautiful for those who love Him.
I know you maybe wondering what this has to do with exercising? Nothing really. I just wanted to update you on that, but as I sit here typing, I realize that it kinda has a lot to do with that. You see, I struggle with that. I'm not a really active girl. I'd rather read than go to the gym. I'd rather watch a movie or cook than workout. I pretty much rather do anything than run for any length of time...*grin*
But, I'm not opposed to swimming, walking, biking, or hiking. It's just actually getting me to just do it is the problem.
I think God cares about that. He cares that I have a desire in my heart to be healthy and active, and I think He wants me to know that just because I've never been successful in the past with these things doesn't mean I still can't do it. Remember? He is showing me how to LIVE. Every step we will take together. So, no, I didn't finish my 30 days, but they aren't over....I just have to do what He's shown me when it gets hard. Let Him lead me right through and we will finish together!