One moment I am bawling over a lost friend and fellow bloggers who are living in some difficult times. The next, I am cracking up, in tears, I mean the ugly face, hysterical crazy lady laughing at this poor poor preacher. I love his state of shock and confusion that those words even slipped right out of his mouth!
Then. Yes, there are more emotions.... I feel lost wondering how to live, and how to let go and let Him just teach me. I am in a constant battle with myself on how to be a godly wife, mother, servant, and friend. How and what to spend this money and this life that's not even our own.
"There is a stirring deep within me". , <~ beautiful song) I'm not sure what to do with that. It's like surprises...I don't like them, if you mention them to me first. You know..."I have a surprise for you next week" or "I have something I need to tell you next time I see you." OH! Just tell me already! You can imagine how much fun I am at Christmas time...my sweet husband tells me he wouldn't be shocked to come home from work a week before Christmas to all of the presents opened and us having such a time with our new gifts.
Well, that's the stirring I'm feeling. He is leading me somewhere, to do something, or to live some way and I just want to KNOW already. MAYBE it's just plain patience He is trying to teach me. That seems just about right =]
All I know is that He is my love, and for now He has called me to serve. Serve my family, love, and to live in thankfulness. So this week I will love more.
I will kiss my precious husband, snuggle my squishy boys,play cars, wash clothes, cook healthy meals when I don't feel like it, exercise, pray, savor the minutes I have to spend with them, I will smile, call a friend, shower AND shave, pray some more, dance with my littles, make cupcakes, pay bills, paint my nails, read books, feed dogs, sleep in my husband's arms, take my boys to soccer and cub scouts, give grace, laugh, marvel at beautiful photography, sit and listen, drink tea, be inspired, have compassion, and live.